Abandonment is an overly used word. As long as one felt left behind, it is quickly assumed an abandonment. As I mentioned in Scars I Have, I had been depressed and felt alone for several years of my old life. Did I feel abandon? Yes. Did I feel sorry for myself? Yes. Did it make me a better person? Absolutely,YES.
If you are feeling alone now, it’s fine to be sad and to cry. However, make a deadline with yourself on how long you will feel bad about your situation. Look at the calendar and encircle the day when you will start to move on. It can be after a few days or weeks and even months.
Knowing when you will stop the negative thoughts can really help. Be realistic on choosing the day of moving on. Don’t make it too early because you might not be emotionally prepared. For example, if you choose to move on the next day, it might cause you a hard time to suppress your actual emotions. Maybe, after a week or two, you have more control of yourself.
Also, don’t choose a very late date. Time will never wait for you. You have to go with it. You need time to build a new life, new relationships, and new goals. Rebuilding can take some time but as Miley Cyrus sings:
Ain’t about how fast I get there
Ain’t about what’s waiting on the other side
It’s the climb, yeah!
As you move forward, you need to appreciate each step you make. Remember each trial you have overcome along the way and apply the lessons you have learned.
You Also Abandoned Them
It really hit me hard to realize my friends and family did not actually abandon me. I was the one who abandoned them. I was also the one who abandoned myself. Once I overcame my issues emotionally, I realized I should have never turned my back to them. I shouldn’t be scared of how they will react or act if they knew what are exactly in my thoughts.
If you are reading this, think about it. Are you really alone right now? If someone left you, isn’t there other loved ones who are sticking by your side? There’s no need to isolate yourself to everyone. Make sure you hold their hands tight even if you don’t want to speak about your problem.
According to a book written by Susan Anderson, there are five universal phases of abandonment:
In Scars I Have, I have clearly described how I handled the different stages. The healing was not easy but I can definitely assure you that I feel better and happier now. In my country, getting into a therapist to fix such problems is a very unpopular option. I had to heal on my willingness and with the help of people around me.
After feeling sorry for being alone, I have the confidence today that I am strong enough on my own and I have the people I love to inspire and give me hope.
Daily Post: Abandoned