I blog not because I want to write about my kids all the time. Even if I named this blog site after them, as much as possible, I don’t want to share much about our lives. However, I have to write this down because it really breaks my heart to see how I have broken the heart of my little girl.
It’s just another Sunday night. Dei asked me if I would be at home the next day. Of course, it’s a Monday so I told her I have to leave early in the morning.
She started mumbling. Her words were hardly audible, but I figured out she wanted me to see her on her ballet and violin classes. She wanted me to take a peek and show up during her classes. I tried to explain nicely that I will arrange a vacation leave to attend her practices, but tears started to flow from her eyes.
The silent tears became small and then loud sobs. She cried like someone stole her candies. I really felt bad and guilty. I doubt my decisions to just work hard and be with them on weekends and on special events and holidays. I also wanted to cry because God knows how I want to be with them every day. How I wish I can just stay with them and help them grow up.
Dei didn’t accept my excuses. Honestly, I was clueless on how I can lessen her pain or how can I make her understand. I tried to hug her and just let her cry. She did. I told her how much I love her and her brothers and I made a promise I will be at her school soon. Plus, I will be with her on her first field trip.
After a while and bribing her with some candies, she started talking about other things and it seemed she had almost forgotten our discussion. When I saw she’s feeling better, I reiterated my promise to be at her school and watch her dance and play the violin.
Dei insisted I come with her the following day, but I can’t just leave from work. Hopefully, she will be happy to see me soon in one of her specialization classes. Even if I did not make it on the day she asked me, I hope my presence next week will be enough.